MEETING STARLEY

My life is really boring in a little one story house.  But not as much since I met a girl named Starley.  

Starley is a girl who is my cousin, just to point that out, and she loves to live with me.

Well, she is going to move in with me and in fact, she is moving in today.  And I am soooo, soooo excited to see her...since I never have!

Ding, dong!  

I heard and I ran up to the door and saw a long black haired girl staring head to toe at me, but  I mean...why wouldn't she?!  We just met and all, so she would want to know what I look like!

But seriously...she should!  

Oh!  I forgot to tell you, my name is Lindzey White--the coolest kid in school!  And I love being sooooo cool at school.

Anyway, I started talking to her and told her to come in.  She seemed nice and I thought she was a really pretty girl!  

My mom came into the room and told her where to put her stuff (which, by the way, she had a lot of!).  

When Starley came back down, I asked if she wanted to play outside with me and go in my tree house and Starley asked me when we were going?  

I said, "Oh!  Right now."

Starley was very confused.  "But, we're going without your mother?  You can drive?"

Now I was confused!

I asked her if she knew what a tree house was, and she said that it was something her mom would take her to on her birthday.  And that the park was right across the street from her.  

On her birthday?!!  I was pretty sure the park is something special to her!

And then I realized that Starley's family was very poor!  

I showed her the actual thing that was my tree house, and Starley filled with joy!  We went outside into my tree house and Starley was so excited that she looked like she was going to scream!  

Now that I knew mostly everything about Starley, I kind of liked that she was poor because in my class everybody is rich, and I'm one of the only one who isn't...so that is very surprising to me.  And probably to Starley, too!  

Me and Starley decided to play some games when my mom told us to come up for lunch.  We were having soup with my mom's special egg salad.  I loved egg salad and when Starley tried it, I think she pretty much fell in love with it, too.  

When we were done, we decided to unpack all of Starley's stuff.  Finally, we were done!

Then...since it took so long, we had dinner.  We were having spaghetti and meatballs with shrimp.  

After dinner, we went downstairs to watch TV.  When my mom told me and Starley to go upstairs and read,  we went up to our rooms and started reading and fifteen minutes later it was time for bed.

So, we turned our lights off and went to bed.  

Then in the morning, we had breakfast.  

After that, we went outside and played in the tree house again. I think the tree house was very cool for Starley and I was pretty sure she liked the tree house more than I ever had.  Since, you see, I got the tree house when I was two and now I am twelve.  The only reason I still like it is because all of my memories are wrapped into it, but I can see why Starley likes it more...because I'm twelve, and Starley is ten.  So she is a little bit younger, so I'm kinda more mature.  

But I still, and probably always will, love that tree house.  And now that I'm more interested about that tree house,  I should probably tell Starley that she should stop talking about the tree house.  She should be talking to me and not the tree house!  And anyway, if she talked to a tree house, that would probably be one of the weirdest things in the whole wide world.  

So I asked Starley if she like me and she said, "Of course!"  And, of course, that's what I thought she would say because she wanted to be nice.

She probably actually hates me and just acts like she's my friend and secretly is just in it for the tree house and my mom's really good food that I love even more than anything. She even makes broccoli taste good!  

Broccoli!

And I'm not going to tell you how good her homemade ice cream is!

I was actually annoyed at Starley and wished she'd just pop out of my perfect life!  So I stomped into my room and Starley followed me in.  I sat down on my bed and started balling and dripping tears on my mattress.  Starley asked me what was wrong and I said in a mean voice, "You!"  

And surprisingly, she started crying, too!  She started talking about how stupid she was to me and how she focused on the treehouse more than me.  

Then I told her to stop crying, so she stopped and so did I.  She talked about how she hated being poor!  It was sooooo sad!  

I told her how I was the only girl in my class who didn't have like a trillion bucks because when I was little, I was poor.  And Starley's face filled with sunshine and happiness.  

So did mine.

Starley and I may not have got along at first, but we finally got along in a weird way.

Oh!  By the way, hi!

The end.

SWINE/BOVINE: A SURREALIST DUOLOGUE.

By Kate & Ryan

Synopsis:  This is a surrealist duologue about a cow and a pig who hate each other. 

Ryan:

One day there was a pig  that lived in a barn. And a cow  moved to the barn that the pig lived in. And the cow and the pig hate  each other. The pig wanted to live in another  barn. And the cow waned to live in another barn, too.  They hate each other because they kept  eating  each other’s food.

Kate:

Now, that’s why they’re really mad at each other!  And if they ever would talk to each other, I bet you wouldn’t get a chance of seeing that!  And so, each day they never smiled at each other and whenever the animals asked what they were going to do today they always said, “We think we’re going to stay in the barn.”  It seems like they are always not going to be friends.  You’ll see in our story!

Ryan:

The cow and the pig had to share a double bed.  Every time they went to sleep, they kept pushing and shoving each other because they wanted more room.  Every time they had to go to the bathroom, they kept peeing on each other.  But when the pig got thirsty, the cow would just shoot milk into her mouth.  But it kept missing her mouth and hit her nose!

Kate:

So, the cow and the pig started making robots to come to and to go to the pig’s or cow’s house, because they hate each other so much that they both should do that.

Ryan:

Whenever they wanted to play, they kept fighting.  When the farmer wanted to give them food, they just kicked it into the farmer’s face because they were so unhappy.

Kate:

One day, one of the animals said that they wanted to start a riot because they were mad.  But the pig and the cow did not know.  Then the cow said, “Since they’re starting a riot, let’s run!”  So, it sounded like they were sort of having fun together!  And I think that the cow was the one who wanted to be friends.  Or, both of them!

Ryan:

But then they started a big, big fight.  Other pigs around them were on the pig’s team and cows were on the cow’s team.  Even the baby pigs were on the pig’s team and they started squirting ham, bacon and milk at each other! 

Kate:

The other animals did not know what to do.  So, they came down, watched the fight and decided to talk to the pigs who started it.  The fight was almost so big they wanted to join in, too!  Now the pig and the cow were really mad because they wanted an extra teammate.  So they stopped arguing and said each other, “We’ve been doing this fight for almost 100 years!  And you want to end it later?  I say we end it now!”  Both of them actually said that, but no one knew it except the pig and the cow.

Ryan:

The pig and the cow headed off to MooLaLa to get ice cream sundaes and leave all the other animals behind to keep fighting.  But MooLaLa was closing, so they had to go to Oberweis to get matching sundaes.  Oberweis didn’t taste as good as MooLaLa, so they decided to try Dairy Queen.  At Dairy Queen they got 25 scoops of different ice cream.  When they were eating their ice cream it fell onto their heads.  When it fell on the cow’s head, the pig decided to eat it off of the cow’s head.  What a pig!

Kate:

And so one of the little pigs went to a fox.  And then another fight was on! This was a long day for all of them!  But they didn’t want to stop.  Well, someone out there might, but in this town nobody wants to.  So, one day the famer came walking and he almost fainted!  All the time when he was walking he kept fainting and none of the doctors knew why.  But when the doctors would walk outside they would faint too!  So doctors from all around the world, Alaska, Florida, Mississippi all came and they all fainted too!  A bunch of the animals got hurt.  This was it!  It was a tie, 16-16.  And I bet no one is going to say when they are going to stop the fight.  They are always going to keep doing it!  Why wouldn’t they do it!  No one knew when to stop, since it is going on forever.  They don’t know.  They think it’s 18 days. But it’s actually been 18 years!  One of the cows shouted out, “Let’s call off this the never-ever-ending war!”

Ryan:

But then the farm decided to move to New Jersey.  They needed a ton of taxis to drive to New Jersey.  They had to drive through Oklahoma, Montana, Pennsylvania, Mississippi, Colorado and 49 other states!  All they did the whole way to New Jersey was fight.  They even had babies on the way to New Jersey!  Since there were babies, the big animals decided to stop fighting.  Before you knew it the babies started fighting!  When the babies needed food, they would hit their mom and dad.  The parents were trying to get the farmer’s and taxi driver’s attention because they needed food and fresh air!  They didn’t want their babies to die!  So the taxi driver finally gave up and decided he better do something!

Kate:

And now they were also fighting in a taxi!!  When they were fighting in a taxi, the taxi driver nearly got squished.  They had to find a way to New Jersey!  They had to walk there and it was a long day.  They almost got thrown in jail!  True fact…when baby animals are born, they are blind and deaf.  The babies didn’t know where they were going, so the mommy’s had to carry them the whole way!  Imagine how hard that was!  The babies eventually learned to see and hear and the moms were so proud they threw them up into the air!  A baby chick got killed when the pigs landed.  The mother hen had another chick and named it the same name as the dead one.  The other babies thought it was the same chick, but the mother hen had to explain that it wasn’t the same one.  The little chicks didn’t understand because they were babies.  And then they were best, best, best friends forever! 

Kate and Ryan:

And they lived happily ever after at home!

THE BORING BOOK :-(

You probably thought that just because the title of this book has the word "boring" in it, it must be boring.  Well...it does not mean it's boring, because YOU think that YOU know EVERYTHING.

But guess what?  You don't!

Even me, winner of all spelling bees and winner of everything else that is included with smartness, does not know EVERY SINGLE THING!!!!!!!!!!

Uh...well, sorry if I sound like I'm being mean to you, but I'm just really angry at those people who think they do know everything in the whole world.

Which, but the way, they don't.

Ok...to be honest, this book is actually way better than I thought people would think of it.  You know, I wish the word "boring" was never invented.

I probably should have told you this from the start, but anyway...my name is "Boring."

Yep...my full name is "Boring Robert Scomler."

Humph...I hate my name.  I wish that my name was "Jack" or "Sal" or "Scott."  Those are actually good names.

ALL OF MY FAMILY.

Kind
Athletic
Trusted
Empathy

Jumpy 
Empathy
Feels good
Forgiving

Awesome!
Not so serious!
Not old at all!
Empathy power!

Empathy
Likes purple
Loves cats
Is not afraid of anything
Ellie power!








Just Jack
Athletic
Cowboy hats
Kind

SAL!

There are tons of things that I love about Sal.

1.  Is a great cook.
2.  Playful.
3.  Respectful.
4.  Responsible.
5.  Safe.
6. Great at gardening.
7.  Does great at his job.
8.  A good friend.
9.  A great kind of guy.
10.  Loves me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LADYBUG DIARIES.

CHAPTER 1.  I, LADYBUG!

You may think it's fun to be the little person.

What I mean by "little" is that you live in the grass and you can get flowers and stuff.  But that's not all.  The bad stuff is like being small--you will get crushed.

From the title...I think you know what I am.  A ladybug!  My father told me it's an easy thing to be, like finding things.

My father tells me the family business is finally mine.  I'm thinking, "What is the family business?"  So, I look on ancestory.com and I find it.  The family business is finding things in temples across the coast.

When I go to bed, I don't sleep.  I get up and slowly tip-toe in the grass until I can't see my bed.  Then, I get a move on because it's time to feed the crickets.  So, after I see a stick, a pick it up and go.

Soon, I'm in the woods.  I'm making sure nothing bigger than me will jump out.  I move on and take deep breaths.

When I go to sleep I know I have along day ahead of me.  I whisper to myself, "I've got to find a temple".

CHAPTER 2.

I wake up and find myself in a car!  In a cage.  Since I'm little, I get out of the cage, unlock the door and 1-2-3-Jump!

CHEETAH

CHAPTER 1.  MY NAME IS CHEETAH.

My name is Cheetah and I am a cheetah.  My mom's name is Loopy-Doo, which is named after my great, great grandfather.

My dad died in the Great Cheetah War III, but his name was also Loopy-Doo and don't ask me why.  But me...I am smart and fat.  And I do not have a diet.

Being fat is a dream come true.  I don't have to race in gym class.  I guess that being fat is soooooo awesome!  And another great thing is that I get all the ice cream!  I guess I'm the only cheetah who likes ice cream.

Also, don't get me wrong, but I am not that fat.  Why here, I will show you a photo of me.  Super model, here I come!

My parents are crazy.  They think my fat is what's getting me smart.  But it's not.  So, I don't agree.

Not to be mean, but I would make my parents suffer the pain it is to be me, because...well, here's the whole story and how it all started.

I was minding my own business when my science teacher stumbled over me.  But what I did not know is that he needed my help.  He was having problems with the class, so he was resigning.

I told him, "You bumped into the wrong person."

But he would not listen to me.

I freaked out when he told me that I was smart, because he must have been thinking about my brother or my cousin.  And yes, I will tell you their names.

My brother's name is Cheetah Ken.  I know it sounds weird, but at least it's not Loopy-Doo.

So, anyway...my cousin's name is Fat Face.  I guess it's because he really has a fat face.  But let's get back to the story.

So I was still freaking out when I fainted.  The next morning, all the kids from Mr. Larriens' class were there with their sketchbooks out ready to go.  I was going to scream, until this girl covered my mouth.  I was going to kill Mr. Larriens.  But the next thing I know, all the kids are asking me questions like:

"Are you an alien?"

"What's 1+1 and 2+2?"

Now I was worried.  If my mom found out, she would be happy.  But my brothers would not.

My brothers don't have a job.  Even if I look small, I am actually older than them.  So after that, I told the kids to just sit down until I got back.

When I got to the house, mom asked me where I was.  I've never lied, so I told her the whole story.  And she put me to bed.

I was thinking in my mind what she had told me.  She thought it was not true at all. Well, me lying...I've only done it like two times before.

Now I was listening to my parents.  My dad also thought I was joking.  So I just turned on my TV and watched football.

Well, that did not make me feel better at all, because my mom sent me there in the morning to prove that I had a job there.  But the whole thing started again.  Questions, questions, questions.

So I just did what I would always do at my house.  Yell, super loud!!!!

And the same girl from yesterday said that Mr. Larriens was just gone today.  And that's when I was just totally, plain old embarrassed.  Then I told her that I was going to stay, and not freak out.

Luckily, she answered. She said that she knew I would.

I told her that the whole point was that I was happy here.

When mom put me to bed, I freaked out...because I loved the girl in Mr. Larriens' class.

I was afraid to tell her the next day, but I did anyway.  And she told me that she liked me, too.  We were both old enough to get married, so we did.

CHAPTER 2.  THE MARRIAGE.

I was super scared to get married the next day, because I looked so stupid in my bow tie.

And another reason is that all the grown-ups were there.

I told her, "I hope this works out.  Just think happy thoughts, Ok?"

Yep, same names.  But I like her last name.  It's called "Nensio."

After the wedding was over, we have  had Chice Cream.  I know you're thinking, "What the heck is 'Chice Cream'?"  Well, it's this kind of rice with ice cream.  It may sound gross, but it's not.

We got to the house in a flash.  It's not like we wouldn't.  I mean...we're cheetahs!

When we got home, I laid down.  It was a long ceremony.  Then I started to watch some football.  But the bubble in my head was saying to me, "We did not even think...we just randomly got married.  We should have thought about it, but we did not."

CHAPTER 3.  NO!

In five days, it was a nightmare.  I was sick.  I threw up everywhere.  It was just plain old gross.

But luckily, Cheetah did not see my puke.  But still, I was a wreck.

In three days, I felt better.  But only because of my wife and neighbors.

But, well...me?  I'm old.  In fact, I'm even better!

By the way, do you like my new picture?  I DID become a super model.

FIN!

MOTHER’S DAY DRAMA [An essay written by Kate for her mom on Mother’s Day 2012]

Hello, my name is Kate.  I am eight years old and it’s…it’s Mother’s Day.

I don’t think I really hate Mother’s Day, but it sure is not my favorite.  The only reason I don’t like Mother’s Day that much is because of a lot of things—like making presents and letters and all that.  But I guess I could try.

I mean…couldn’t I? 

I’m pretty sure the answer is no.  But like I said, I could try. 

I know things like this happen to me easily, so it’s not the same with Mother’s Day.  So I am pretty much doomed for good. 

I am still going to try.

Well, I think so.

Not that it matters, but I think you should know what I look like.  So here’s a picture of me (posted above).  See!

CHAPTER 2.  DOOMED FOR GOOD.

Oh, no!  Oh, no!

It is my mom!  Get in bed, get in bed!!!

Now, that was so close I almost fainted.

I love you, mom!

MY STEPDAD'S GARDEN.

I love my Stepdad's garden so much because of the cool flowers, fruits and vegetables that we grow.

But then, we all eat it!

I also like when my friends come to see.  I know my friends like it, too.

When we play, we always stare at it.  And I am the only person in my family who likes the garden so much.

I feel good when I'm in the garden or even if I'm not.  I just hope that it stays there.  Maybe when I'm older, I will be a gardener!

Sal loves when I help get out the old fruits and vegetables in the garden.  Sal also loves when I am picking other things, too!

Sometimes I am disappointed that when I am with my Dad for the weekend, I do not get to do all of the fun stuff I do with Sal because my Dad lives in an apartment building.

But I am still very happy when I am with my Dad.

My Stepdad knows I love his garden.  I hope you could have a garden like my Stepdad's.

After that, we have dinner.  Dinner was super!  Super as always.

"Mmm-hmm," we say.  We are definitely having vegetables the next day.

I just love Sal's garden.  Speaking of vegetables, let's talk about flowers.

I love the way the flowers drift in the sun so much.

Do you?