My name is Cheetah and I am a cheetah. My mom's name is Loopy-Doo, which is named after my great, great grandfather.
My dad died in the Great Cheetah War III, but his name was also Loopy-Doo and don't ask me why. But me...I am smart and fat. And I do not have a diet.
Being fat is a dream come true. I don't have to race in gym class. I guess that being fat is soooooo awesome! And another great thing is that I get all the ice cream! I guess I'm the only cheetah who likes ice cream.
Also, don't get me wrong, but I am not that fat. Why here, I will show you a photo of me. Super model, here I come!
My parents are crazy. They think my fat is what's getting me smart. But it's not. So, I don't agree.
Not to be mean, but I would make my parents suffer the pain it is to be me, because...well, here's the whole story and how it all started.
I was minding my own business when my science teacher stumbled over me. But what I did not know is that he needed my help. He was having problems with the class, so he was resigning.
I told him, "You bumped into the wrong person."
But he would not listen to me.
I freaked out when he told me that I was smart, because he must have been thinking about my brother or my cousin. And yes, I will tell you their names.
My brother's name is Cheetah Ken. I know it sounds weird, but at least it's not Loopy-Doo.
So, anyway...my cousin's name is Fat Face. I guess it's because he really has a fat face. But let's get back to the story.
So I was still freaking out when I fainted. The next morning, all the kids from Mr. Larriens' class were there with their sketchbooks out ready to go. I was going to scream, until this girl covered my mouth. I was going to kill Mr. Larriens. But the next thing I know, all the kids are asking me questions like:
"Are you an alien?"
"What's 1+1 and 2+2?"
Now I was worried. If my mom found out, she would be happy. But my brothers would not.
My brothers don't have a job. Even if I look small, I am actually older than them. So after that, I told the kids to just sit down until I got back.
When I got to the house, mom asked me where I was. I've never lied, so I told her the whole story. And she put me to bed.
I was thinking in my mind what she had told me. She thought it was not true at all. Well, me lying...I've only done it like two times before.
Now I was listening to my parents. My dad also thought I was joking. So I just turned on my TV and watched football.
Well, that did not make me feel better at all, because my mom sent me there in the morning to prove that I had a job there. But the whole thing started again. Questions, questions, questions.
So I just did what I would always do at my house. Yell, super loud!!!!
And the same girl from yesterday said that Mr. Larriens was just gone today. And that's when I was just totally, plain old embarrassed. Then I told her that I was going to stay, and not freak out.
Luckily, she answered. She said that she knew I would.
I told her that the whole point was that I was happy here.
When mom put me to bed, I freaked out...because I loved the girl in Mr. Larriens' class.
I was afraid to tell her the next day, but I did anyway. And she told me that she liked me, too. We were both old enough to get married, so we did.
I was super scared to get married the next day, because I looked so stupid in my bow tie.
And another reason is that all the grown-ups were there.
I told her, "I hope this works out. Just think happy thoughts, Ok?"
Yep, same names. But I like her last name. It's called "Nensio."
After the wedding was over, we have had Chice Cream. I know you're thinking, "What the heck is 'Chice Cream'?" Well, it's this kind of rice with ice cream. It may sound gross, but it's not.
We got to the house in a flash. It's not like we wouldn't. I mean...we're cheetahs!
When we got home, I laid down. It was a long ceremony. Then I started to watch some football. But the bubble in my head was saying to me, "We did not even think...we just randomly got married. We should have thought about it, but we did not."
CHAPTER 3. NO!
In five days, it was a nightmare. I was sick. I threw up everywhere. It was just plain old gross.
But luckily, Cheetah did not see my puke. But still, I was a wreck.
In three days, I felt better. But only because of my wife and neighbors.
But, well...me? I'm old. In fact, I'm even better!
By the way, do you like my new picture? I DID become a super model.
FIN!
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